I'm not being scammed by the shipping company am I? Can't be too careful these days..
Hmmm, be sure to only call the people Cyprian wants me to speak to. Ok then... And the son, it's looking bad, very bad...
Alright then Cyprian, lets see if we can sort this money business out. Time for Cyprian to make an idiot of himself at the Western Union office!
So where is the money then?
Now i'm worried about Nico. I'd like to see that he's ok and the shipping company haven't stolen him
Oh, everything is ok, no need to panic, Nico is back home with Cyprian. He's confused and upset, his only child is very ill (Cyprians child, not Nico, he's not upset... are you with me?)
Nico is fine! Hmmm, I think we need proof that Nico really is fine. He's been moved about a lot, developed a white nose and been to the sea port and airport, only to go back to Cyprian and his very sick son.
A reassuring email from Cyprian and everything makes sense
I'm smelling a rat though, are you? I think we need to see a recent pic...
Ahh, no need to worry, here's the proof Nico is at home and fine!
Would that be the son who is desperately ill in hospital? Bet seeing Nico back home after going on a ship, then to the airport made him feel lots better!
Well i'm not convinced. I really want proof of when those pics were taken so come on, Cyprian, time to get the proof!
Hmmm, do you think this is a recent pic of Nico?
Gosh, Nico looks fabulous after his travels doesn't he! Are you sure you've just taken that photo Cyprian? You wouldn't be telling me porkies would you? We want the proof!
Well what do you think? Convincing?
Photo's reassuringly named "Nico today" and just look at that... he's even been to a Dressage competition today too! Wow, amazing after his travelling, then to be reunited with Cyprians sick son, and go out competing all in the space of 24 hours! Impressive...
Oh dear, the son is dead now! To hell with me! But my horse, I want my horse, i'm not quitting just yet! I think we need to demonstrate what proof we require so we know the amazing Nico is still available....
Oh dear, do you think I pushed dear Cyprian too far? The curse of the Juju is upon me, with pics of a witch doctor and a toy dinosaur to make it super convincing...
Time to give up now? Looks like we've come to the end of the road. I almost miss Cyprian and his unique sales patter... But his son is dead, the photo proves it. Oh, and look... it's Nico and he has a newspaper with him. Well I can't see it, but it must be there somewhere, Cyprian would never lie!
WAIT! I see a glimmer of hope! Cyprian feels bad about his anger, after all, his son died that morning. Maybe we can pull this round and still get our incredible Nico into his stable which has been waiting for him for the last 3 days!
Yes, I think we can turn this around!
Oh dear, he can't get over all the money I made him (not) spend! But thankful he's going right now to cancel the curse! Phew... but the bad luck is on me!
Gosh, he never gives up!
So what do you think then? We did kinda like Nico
Sadly, this is where our story comes to a close. I got too busy to chat with Cyprian so left him to chatter to himself. His final email, sent highlighted in red for full effect showed Cyprians distaste for being toyed with and having his time wasted, but if he's chatting to me, making a fool of himself in the Western Union office trying to collect payments that were never sent, then he's spending less time scamming someone else. He will sell you anything at all... puppies, parrots, unicorns. You name it, he can get it. The fabulous Nico will still be there waiting for his new owner. Just send the money and wait.....