One of my friends spotted an ad for a horse she fancied. Nico, a friesian gelding. Only an email address but super pics and the horse sounded a real bargain.
Of course, “Nico” didn't exist, but I thought i'd have a go at giving this Nigerian 419 scammer a bit of work to do, so I contacted him to see if Nico might suit me.
Well, it's looking hopeful, Nico is a mare, he's 4 years old and has been in the same family for over 4 years. Sad sale due to the owners sons illness...
Gosh, 15% off! Better act fast to snaffle this bargain! I was a bit mixed up with the sellers name, “Prince Charmy” didn't give much away so we'll call him Carolyn
Looks like Nico's perfect for any horse champ! Cameroon though... not sure it's going to be simple to close this deal... Slight confusion with the name, but call me Carolyn then!
Hey, look at this! The horse will be brought to me! Amazing! “Cyprian” is also my new best friend!
Spot the snag? Small advance payment. Hmmm, think we need a peep at our horse before we send any money...
Well, what do we think of Nico? 16hds mare? He doesn't look very big to me, what do you think? He's had his health checks already though! Wow! All the certificates and receipts too!
Hmm, better make sure Nico isn't going to disappoint me when he gets here...
Well now i'm impressed! Cyprian bred Nico, he's a very experienced breeder! That really puts my mind at rest! Gosh, he's also hygenically trained... he must be too good to be true!
But wait, I see a snag
Phew, what a relief! Here he is, he looks big enough too!
Looks like it's all arranged then! The son isn't doing too well though, he needs $180 for his medication so i'd better get him paid!
Yes, that's fine. Better make sure Nico has all the correct paperwork!
(fabricated address... just in case) And astonishingly, the delivery agency were on to me in moments!
Wow, great service Jet Air Pet! Nico is a male again, and he's aged a couple of years, but not to worry, i'm getting a pair! Can't wait!
Hmm, $300 now?
But after all he's been getting all the export documents prepared. What do you think?
Well it's a special permit so it must be fine! There's something missing though...
Oh don't worry, everything is in order! Now where's the money, the son is still not too good...
Better drop a carrot now... Do you take cash?
Ooooh look! Nico is on his way. 19 hours and he'll be here. But the son is getting worse.. Oh no!
Always a pleasant response from me..... My horse is on his way!
Hmmm, slight delay, the ship sails in 15hrs. He wants that MTCN number so he can get his Western Union payment, to pay for his sons health, you understand...
I'm still excited to receive my fabulous Nico. I was a bit busy though and forgot to reply until the next day...
Gosh, this payment is getting urgent now. The son might die! Cyprian and Nico are on board the ship and still he's not seen a penny from me! Unfortunately, I was so busy preparing for Nico's arrival, I forgot to check my emails. Silly me..
Oh dear, it's gone up to $600 dollars now. Poor Cyprian has to sell his laptop, he's losing his mind!
Ah, I have a solution! Did I tell you about the Church of the Vagabond Goat? Don't worry Cyprian, You can have free laptops and mobile phones when you get here with Nico!
Money money money!
Better complain to Cyprian that Jet Air Pets are dragging their feet!
As if by magic, Jet Air Pet email!
Hmmm, sound professional with the “Metal Quality Sign Approved”? Better let them know we're all set to receive the fabulous Nico
Oh no, they want money!
Ok, i'm worried about Nico, I want him here now. Yes, i'll give you some money, just let me have an invoice and lets stop this delay. Nico's stable is ready!
Brilliant, they can sort it straight away, but it has to be wireless transfer, not paypal!
Meanwhile, I have to complain to Cyprian. I'm worried! Where is Nico? Is he ok? I don't trust the shipping company.... Do you?
Phew, all is well. Cyprian popped over to the shipping company and they wouldn't let him in, but he managed to get a quick photo of him, all ready to travel. I was under the impression they were coming together, but not to worry, i'm sure there's a great explanation.
But wait... do you smell a rat?
Ah, he sent me a pic of his brothers horse Shinny. It must be ok then....
And just to PROVE there can be no doubt Nico is on his way to England, Cyprian sends pics to put my mind at rest
And don't forget the 3 reasons Cyprian is doing all this....
But he wants at least the $300 fare
Oh heck, Cyprian is about to have a heart attach?